Sometimes in the middle of the night Dylan goes up the People's Stairs in order to sleep with Daddy. Other nights he spends in his own bed. In the morning, if Dylan has spent the entire night in his own bed, then Daddy rewards him with a 'letter sticker', or a merit sticker featuring words of praise and encouragement.

How we got into this messy situation, an honours scandal with bribery, is another story, long and uninteresting, which shows Daddy's parenting skills in a poor light. The point here is that Dylan sleeps in his own bed on a strictly voluntary basis.

Last night, after Daddy tucked Dylan into the correct bed, Dylan said, 'Oh, by the way, Daddy'. (Daddy had never heard Dylan use the phrase 'by the way' before, so this was amusing.)

'Yes, Dyan?' asked Daddy.

'I don't want a letter sticker', announced Dylan, cutting straight to the heart of the matter. This was Dylan's way of saying, 'I'll be seeing you at 3.00 a.m., sucker'.