Dylan has been promoted from 'Favourite Boy' to 'Favourite Big Boy'.

Old MacFarmy.

Isaac with Dylan.


Isaac with Daddy.

First video of Isaac.

Isaac with Mummy.



Isaac Phelps was born Friday 17th December 2010.

Dylan has started to multiply numbers. He already knew from experience that 'two and two are four'. Today he noticed that Mummy had placed two picture frames on each of three walls. Excitedly he tried to convey some new discovery, as follows:

DYLAN: Oh! Oh! Four and four.
DADDY: Four and four?
DYLAN: Two and two and two.
DADDY: How many is that?
DYLAN (without counting): Six.

DYLAN: What the heck is that?

The following conversation takes place each night during skippity skip.

DADDY: How many pullies after this one?
DYLAN: One more.
DADDY: And how many pullies after that?
DYLAN: No more.
DADDY: What are you going to do then?
DYLAN: Go to bed.
DADDY: And what are you going to do in bed?
DYLAN: Go to sleep.

DYLAN (to Daddy): You don't love Mummy. You love the Fat Controller.


Dylan with dirty face.

Dylan is beginning to take personal responsibility for the whereabouts of his baba.

Dylan asked Daddy, 'Where are Grandma and Grandpa Beaman?' We hadn't mentioned the Beamans all day, so his question seemed out of the blue, as many of Dylan's questions are. Daddy told Dylan the truth, making it sound natural, which of course it is. Dylan sounded a little distressed, saying, 'I didn't see them'. Daddy answered that in fact Dylan did see them, several times. Dylan said 'Oh' and was satisfied.

DYLAN (as if he has recently arrived in Britain, which, of course, he has): Silverware. What is it called in this country?

('Silverware' is American for 'cutlery'.)

We had to explain to Dylan that, yes, Jeff and Wendy are visiting but, no, they are not bringing the horse.

DYLAN: I'm going to knock you over.
DADDY: Dylan! That's not very nice or polite.
DYLAN: Please can I knock you over.

DYLAN: Do starfish have mouths?

Dylan said something to Daddy, who could not hear what Dylan had said, because the road traffic was too noisy. Daddy explained, 'I cannot easily hear you, Dylan, so please speak directly into my ear'. Misunderstanding slightly, Dylan put his ear inside Daddy's ear, and spoke again.

Daddy and Dylan went to see Stick Man, the stage musical. During a quiet pond scene, Dylan shouted, 'Are there going to be ducks?'

It seems necessary, again, to illustrate one of Dylan's experiments in physics.

Daddy often pulls Dylan on a scooter, by a belt connected to the handle bars. One day, Dylan decided that he should pull himself on the scooter, even while standing on it.

You and I know this doesn't work. Unfortunately, however, Dylan conducted the experiment on a slight downhill grade. To him, it seemed to work fine.

This illustrates how a scientific theory can never be proven, only disproven.

Dylan uses the phrase 'all the time' literally to mean 'at all times' or 'on an on-going basis, indefinitely', rather than its usual meaning of 'at many times' or 'often'. While holding hands with Daddy, he said, 'I want to keep holding hands; I want to hold hands all the time'. Sometimes he says, 'I want kisses all of the time'. He thinks anything good should be continuous and does not understand moderation or change.

Dylan asked if fish have noses.

DYLAN, who knows that the baby is coming 'at Christmas', said to Mummy:
'After Christmas, will the baby go away again, back into your womb?'

Dylan is experimenting with the subjunctive: 'I wish I would have a bike'.

Dylan sings 'Dirty Old Town'.

DYLAN: Do I have two heads?
DADDY: No.
DYLAN: I have a head, and I have a forehead.

DYLAN: Where do stars come from?

DYLAN: I want to burst into flames.

DADDY: If you put your fingers in the milk one more time, I'll put you on the thinking step. [Pause.] If you put your toes in the milk one more time, I'll put you on the thinking step.

Dylan thinks it's funny to say that he is going 'to bad to slap' instead of 'to bed to sleep'.

DYLAN: Shall we go to an English cafe that has lollipops, beans, chips, pig, and lollipops?

Dylan spoke his most complex sentence to date: 'Probably I will break it again'. Don't ask about the context.

Links to new videos.

Here are some links to some very long unedited videos. Click here for one. Click here for another. Click here for a third. Be warned, they are long and unedited.

DADDY: If I were you, I would put on those trousers quickly.
DYLAN: Are you me?

---

Dylan found a blank cheque from Bank of America on the kitchen table, placed it carefully into his Thomas the Tank Engine lunch pale, and announced to himself, matter-of-factly and with satisfaction, 'Forty pounds'.

DADDY: How many kisses do you want?
DYLAN: I want all of the kisses.

DYLAN: Can I eat baby sheep?
DADDY: Yes.
DYLAN: Can I eat kittens?

Dylan shaved this morning.

DADDY: Is she called Mummy or Mommy?
DYLAN: She's called Meena.

Come, come.

Dylan has taken to saying, when he wants his daddy, 'Come, come, Big Daddy'.

Then he prompts Daddy to answer, 'Yes, Big Dylan'.

DADDY: Do you want some more milk?

DYLAN: No!

DADDY (wishing Dylan would say 'no, thank you'): How do you say 'no' politely?

DYLAN: Please can I say 'no'?

Mummy and Daddy wanted to leave the playground. Normally we would dictate a maximum number of times that Dylan could go down the slide. But since Dylan is learning to count, Daddy decided to allow Dylan himself to suggest a number of times remaining. 'All of the times', answered Dylan. (He does not know how to say 'infinity'.) Daddy demanded that Dylan specify a number. 'Too many times', said Dylan. Again Daddy demanded an actual number. At last Dylan held up all ten fingers.

Dylan visited Daddy at work today. The first thing Dylan said, when he saw Daddy, was, 'Daddy, you have new glasses'. (Daddy was wearing his office glasses, which Dylan had not seen before.) Where did Dylan learn the phrase 'new glasses'? Only adults talk about new glasses. Why not 'different glasses' or 'funny glasses'?

Later Dylan saw a lift ('elevator') in the office building. 'I want to go in the lift upstairs', he said. Daddy answered, 'People can use the lift only if they have business upstairs'. Dylan asked, 'Do you have business upstairs?' Daddy answered, 'Yes'. Dylan said, 'I have business upstairs, too.'

Mummy thinks Dylan has an American accent.

A successful theme park could be built for toddlers, featuring nothing but construction vehicles doing their thing - diggers digging, cement trucks mixing, etc.

(Dylan isn't really a toddler anymore, though. He is a big boy.)

It makes sense that toddlers get excited when a digging machine starts to tear the road apart. Why don't adults get excited about this? Which is more exciting, a shop sale sign or three tonnes of asphalt being lifted by huge machines?

Dylan and Damien at Victoria Park.

The Tree of Love is located near Woodside Park and is where Dylan and the other Phelpses are encouraged to express love for one another. Dylan continues to misinterpret the phrase; he hugs and kisses the tree itself.

Through his questions - 'What's that? What's that?' - Dylan has brought to Daddy's attention an entire world of utilities once unnoticed: man hole covers, telephone repair boxes, water and electricity covers, and the wires that run alongside Underground tracks. Daddy doesn't very well know what most of it is.

Dylan has started to use proper names for places. For example, he refers to Highgate Wood, Finchley, and other places in London. He is no longer confined to using indefinite descriptions such as 'the red playground' or 'the playground with no swings', instead speaking of 'the playground at Highgate Wood'.

The Nellists gave to Dylan the book The Tiger Who Came to Tea, complete with text, pictures, and an audio recording of the text. Dylan sometimes listens to the recording without looking at the pictures, which seems like a step toward imagining, or at least remembering. Last night for the first time Daddy read to Dylan a book without pictures, called The Little Driver, by Martin Wagner. Dylan listened to the entire first chapter, about a thousand words, without interrupting. At the end he said, 'Joe wants a car', which was a very good summary of the chapter.

Dylan finishes the rhymes in some books. He and Daddy sound like the Beastie Boys.

Who's in the loo? There's a very long...
Dylan: QUEUE!
Is it an elephant having a...
Dylan: POO!
They're taking forever. Now who could it be? A whale who's doing the world's biggest
Dylan: WEE!
Is it a tiger who needed a
Dylan: TIDDLE?
A wandering
Dylan: WOMBAT!
who wanted a
Dylan: WIDDLE?
(Mummy taught Dylan what a wombat is.)
Is it a rhino who had a hot
Dylan: CURRY!
(This knowledge of curry impressed Daddy.)
It could be a tortoise. Well, they never
Dylan: HURRY!
Perhaps it's a hamster who can't reach the
Dylan: SEAT!
Or maybe a monkey who's washing his
Dylan: FEET!
Or a snake who's just sitting there, sucking a
Dylan: SWEET!
...and so on, including
MOLE, BOWL, DAMP BIT OF COAL, FLAN
(Dylan stumbled over CATAMARAN)
NAILS, TAILS, SNAILS
...We heard a small voice.
It said, (and here Daddy uses his very high voice),
"I'm in the loo! I'm just doing what my mum told me to...
(now Dylan finishes with his own special high pitch): DO!

No one understands.
It was Octopus washing his eight little... HANDS!

Dylan and Livie at the zoo. Notice the monkey on the left. A few seconds after this photo was taken, the monkey terrorized both children by jumping on their laps. (Photo by Dave Buller.)


Dylan at the zoo. (Photo by Dave.)


Dylan's new big boy bed.


Dylan wearing Daddy's glasses.

Daddy asked Dylan if he wanted his face painted as a tiger. 'I'm a tiger already', Dylan responded coolly. He is referring to his orange hair.

Pulleys

Yesterday Dylan decided he was going to wear big boy pants and since then he has only worn nappies for sleeping. He is doing very well at using his potty and the toilet although we have also had quite a few accidents.

In other news, Dylan is excited about having a baby brother or sister and keeps kissing Mummy's tummy.

Dylan likes 'upside-down skippity-skip' (being held upside down by a skipping person), 'whoa' (being held overhead by a person who runs and then falls onto a mattress), 'one-two-three' (being thrown up in the air on the count of three), 'hide Dylan' (having a duvet thrown over his head), and 'pulleys' (riding around on a duvet while it is pulled over a carpet, especially over a step) - all in that order, each night before going to bed.

Dylan feels that 'Green Eggs and Ham' is an ambiguous title and therefore calls the book 'Green Eggs and Green Ham'. Otherwise, the ham might seem to be a colour other than green.

Dylan observed that the unnamed character is 'happy, not sad anymore' when at last he eats green eggs (and green ham).

If Dylan disagrees with something you say he politely corrects you and then puts 'I think' at the end of the sentence.

So today he asked what something was and Matt told him it was a fig roll. Dylan corrected him - 'It's a biscuit, I think.'

(In British English a fig roll is a type of biscuit.)

Dylan supported England in France.

On our way back to England, Dylan had his face painted.

Dylan and Sam played on a water slide at our house.

Martinez Boys' Club (North Finchley Branch)

Here you go, Kitty.

In this video, Dylan offers his Baba to Kitty for sleeping with.

Trip to France.

In France Dylan's water tunnelling behaviour began to resemble a reflex action, with neural pathways built to make endorphins. Whenever Daddy tried to carry Dylan past a favourite water slide, Dylan would struggle unthinkingly to climb it, like a heroin addict.

These French slides are big like the ones in Manteca, California. Dylan went down a particularly huge slide eight times in a row, insisted on going alone the ninth time, hurt his leg, and then waited an entire fifteen minutes before recovering to make a tenth trip. He was not in control of himself; the endorphins controlled him.

Later, in a hotel room, Daddy told Mommy that he knew how to open the window because he is American. (In France and America people use the same kind of window.) Dylan overheard Daddy and said, 'I'm American, too!' We had not recently discussed Dylan's nationality with him and were surprised he was aware of it.

Daddy told Dylan that a whole cup of juice was too much. Dylan answered, 'I want too much'.

I'm eating the bubbles.

A puddle at the castle.

In the back garden.



Birthday party with Grandma's train cake.



Reading to Mu Mu.



Willows Farm.



The only gay toddler in the village.



Painting at home.

Dylan's recent jokes are a mockery of maths and truth. For example, he jokes that there are 'two rabbits and one baba', when in fact there are two babas and one rabbit. Another favourite is, 'Daddy has no pee pee; Mummy has a pee pee'. Dylan knows the truth and laughs at its negation.

Dylan might have chicken pox.

Dylan sometimes asks for kisses of various colours: a green kiss, a yellow kiss, a purple kiss, etc. After Daddy gives Dylan a kiss of any particular colour, Dylan asks for another kiss of another colour.

Dylan and Kitty at Friary Park.

At a castle this weekend Dylan tried to open a door that had been nailed shut for centuries. When Daddy explained to Dylan that the door could not be opened, Dylan answered, 'Only Daddy can open it'.

We asked Dylan, 'What does Mommy do at work?' and he answered, 'She sings Twinkle Twinkle Little Star'.

We also asked Dylan, 'Who is your favourite Meena [Mommy]?', and he answered, 'Her name is Clare'.

Dylan has the freedom of our CD cupboard and is particularly fond of 'the orange music' (Chilled Ibiza Gold).

Dylan pushes Mu Mu's pram beside Daddy, who in turn pushes Dylan's (empty) pram. Today they walked together all the way from Hutton Grove to St Barnabas.
When Daddy gets the big pram stuck in rocks, Dylan pretends the little pram is stuck too, and they each lever up their front wheels.

Dylan is train crazy.

Dylan says, 'Talk about the book'.

'The little monkey lost his mum', read Daddy from Dylan's book. 'She's busy!' explained Dylan, happy to be of assistance.

Dylan went pee pee in his potty. Yay!

Today Dylan walked Mumu in her pram all the way from Percy Road to the library, and then all around Sainsbury's.

Dylan in America

Instructions for putting on pants: Both legs go inside the big hole. One leg comes out of one little hole, while the other leg comes out of the other little hole.

Before the volcano erupted, Dylan referred to our return flight as the 'other' plane. After the volcano erupted, Dylan understood that 'the other plane is broken'.

Dylan spent Easter in California.


He visited Brian, Karen, and Edie in Oregon.




Above: Dylan with Karen and Papa.


Finally, he went to Pixie Land and drove naked on top of a Formula One racecar.