MUMMY:  Isaac, do you need to do a poo?
ISAAC [standing naked on Dylan's bedroom floor]: Yes.
MUMMY:  Do you want to do a poo in your potty?
ISAAC:  No.
MUMMY:  Do you want to do your poo in a nappy then?
ISAAC:  No.  Dylan's room.

Duck barn.

This photograph hangs in our hall.  Consistently for about half a year, Isaac has referred to it as a 'duck'.  He will not be convinced otherwise.  Lately he has pointed out the two white shapes on the front of the barn as 'eyes' and the yellow door as a 'mouth'.  A person really must have ducks on the mind, in order to see a barn as a duck.

Pictures from June and July 2012

DYLAN:  Daddy, what does my tooth model say?
ISAAC:  Flats.  Insides.  Outsides.

DYLAN:  Can I please tape these toys together?
DADDY:  Yes.  The tape is on the table.
DYLAN:  Can you do me a favour and get the tape for me?
DADDY:  No, you can get the tape yourself, from the table.
DYLAN:  Do I have to do everything for you?  I'm not your slave, you know.
DADDY:  Yes, you're right Dylan.  You don't have to get the tape.
DYLAN:  But I want to tape these toys together.
DADDY:  That's OK.  You still don't have to get the tape.

Isaac v Rob Footie 28th July 2012

Play House 28th July 2012

 

'Sunflower' by Dylan at Moss Hall Infant School (last year).

KITTY:  Dylan, am I your only girlfriend?
DYLAN:  Daddy, is Kitty my only girlfriend?
DADDY:  Well, you're friends with Zadie, and she's a girl.
DYLAN:  Daddy says I have other girlfriends.
KITTY:  No!  I want to be your only one.
DYLAN:  Daddy, Kitty wants to be my only girlfriend.
DADDY:  Maybe she's your only special girlfriend.
DYLAN:  Daddy says you might be my only 'special' girlfriend.
KITTY:  Ok.

Paddling Pool 27th July 2012

"Who is older, Dylan or Kitty?  I know.  Let's weigh them.  You know, put Dylan's back against Kitty's, and Kitty's back against Dylan's."  - A friend of Dylan and Kitty, age 5.

A Different Cafe at Friary Park 26th July 2012

Daddy accidentally punched Isaac in the mouth, while playing catch.  Isaac cried for about half a minute.  Then, smiling through blood dripping from his lower lip, he shouted, 'Again!'

Mumu Pram Seesaw Corvid 25th July 2012

'I laughed my sock off'. - Dylan

 

'I am English and you are not, so I have lived in England longer than you have', said Dylan to Daddy, but Daddy did not agree.  Dylan spoke more accurately a few days later, when he learned that Daddy took British citizenship in 2009, shortly after Dylan's birth.  'The Queen has been my queen longer than she has been your queen', said Dylan.

DYLAN [In a cafe, out of the blue]:    Are there numbers less than zero?
DADDY:  Yes.  Negative one, negative two, negative three point one four.
DYLAN:  Is 'negative six' a number?
DADDY:  Yes.
DYLAN:  Are there any numbers that you can write but not say?
DADDY:  Yes.
DYLAN:  What are they?
DADDY:  I'd have to write them down in order to answer you.  Mostly ones with lots of zeros after them.
DYLAN:  Are there any numbers that you cannot write and cannot say?
DADDY:  That's a good question.

I want you to clean the hoover.  - Dylan, obsessed.

Paddling Pool Haircut 6th and 7th July 2012.

Sorry the sound and picture are not synchronised.

'Help!' shouted Isaac.  Daddy ran into the kitchen looking for danger.  Instead he found Isaac, tugging on the handle of an immovable fake cupboard door.

Damien Sprinkler July 2012

Kung Fu Fighter July 2012

Snail Hug July 2012

Dylan and Isaac in the bath 13th July 2012

Dylan, Zadie, and Kitty 5th July 2012

Barney and Isaac 2nd July 2012

Minnesota Balloon 1st July 2012

Mumu at the Brook 13th June 2012

Isaac has long had an Iggle Piggle doll.  Today he saw In the Night Garden on TV.  Each time Iggle Piggle appeared, Isaac danced.  Each time Iggle Piggle exited a scene, Isaac cried (and screamed).

DYLAN:  What name is written at the bottom of the page?
DADDY:  Mr Warren, the Head Teacher.
DYLAN:  Why does it look so bad?
DADDY:  It's a signature, written sloppily as unique proof.
DYLAN:  Oh.

ISAAC:  Daddy?
DADDY:  Yes, Isaac?
ISAAC:  [English singer-songwriter] Kate Nash.

DYLAN:  Shall I tell you what rhymes with [the Octonauts submarine] GUP-A?  Buffet.

For the first time Dylan read a book by himself: Bad Cat, Ned!

AMY [Dylan's teacher]:  You look nice today, Dylan.

KITTY [rolling her eyes]:  Oh, he always wears that.

Dylan and Kitty have changed plans.  They now plan to live in a windmill in France.

DYLAN:  We're going to turn the sand pit into a paddling pool.  We're going to take all of the sand out of the sand pit and put it into the paddling pool, and we're going to take all of the water out of the paddling pool and put it into the sand pit.

Dylan has grown into a conscientious young man.

Isaac is red in tooth and claw.

Dylan often speaks to Daddy from inside locked toilet stalls.  'Daddy, I think this toilet paper dispenser was designed to save tubes and paper.  Shall I tell you how?  The roll comes out in cut pieces from the centre, with no tube'.

Isaac can say 'Dylan' (Din) and 'pigeon' (pin).

Dylan plans to have children with Kitty in America.  'Nana and Papa will look after our children on weekends', he said today.

Dylan gave his balance bike to Isaac and learned, on his second try, to ride his new peddle bike without assistance, even from a dead stop.

He also invented sugar-free green grape-flavoured moon-shaped ice cream.

For the first time, Isaac has called a non-duck bird by its real name:  chicken ('kee').  All other birds remain 'guck'.

DYLAN:  When I say 'Daddy', you have to say 'Yes, Dylan' straightaway.

New words from Isaac:  'boat', 'coat', 'gate', 'blow', 'pee', 'gnome'.

New words from Isaac:  'pool', 'catch'.

Isaac is counting!  (Or, at least, he's reciting the names of numbers in order, up to ten.)  We're surprised and not sure how he learned this.  (Daddy is really happy and proud.)

New words from Isaac:  'train' (coo coo), 'moon', 'pulley', 'giraffe' (raf).

Isaac says 'again' (ghen), 'more', 'no', 'horse', and 'rock'.

Isaac uses the word 'money' to refer to coins.  He also uses the word 'pram'.

Today Isaac pointed to a pear in a book, said 'pear', then pushed the tip of his finger between Daddy's lips and said 'pear' again.  Daddy had just eaten a pear, so Isaac was pointing to the second pear, inside Daddy.

Isaac pushed his toy pram down the skate ramp in the park.

Isaac collects rocks.  He especially likes pretty round ones, sometimes broken open to reveal different colours inside.  Rocks have replaced socks, in his collecting.  We find them everywhere, in all rooms, inside toys, etc.  He is learning to put them inside his pockets.

DYLAN:  Call me Jingle Dylan.

DADDY:  Hello Jingle Dylan.

DYLAN:  Hello Tiger Turtle.

Isaac is concerned to establish that objects in books exist in the real world.  For example, he points to a picture of a clock in one of his books, says 'clock', then points to the clock on his wall, and says 'clock' again.  He does the same at Dylan's nursery, where there is both a clock and a book depicting a clock.  He also points to a door in a book and the door in his room, saying 'door' each time.

Isaac says, with some difficulty, 'star' (har), 'apple' (ah-uh), 'banana' (nana), 'orange' (oh-ah), and 'flower' (fla).  He also says bubble, hair, hat, spoon, fork, chair, keys, teddy, ball, boat, pear, carrot, baby, cake, milk, tree, sheep, top, balloon, and man.

Isaac has divided animals into four groups.  1.  He calls all birds 'ducks' (or 'gucks').  For example, a raven is a 'guck'.  2.  He calls all insects 'bees'.  For example, a lady bird is a 'bee'.  3.  He calls dogs 'dogs' (or 'gaaaaa') - describing the same group in the same way that most people use.  4.  Finally, he calls all non-dog mammals 'cat'.  For example, horses and sheep are 'cats'.  He is quite consistent.

Photos from March, April, and May 2012.

May 2012 from Daddy's phone continued further

May 2012 from Daddy's phone continued

May 2012 from Daddy's phone

April and May 2012 from Daddy's phone

March and April 2012 from Daddy's phone

DYLAN:  Why do firemen go down fire poles instead of really fast slides?

A helium balloon floated to our dining room ceiling.  Isaac pulled a chair beneath the balloon, stood upon the chair, and reached with his right hand as high as he could.  He was just five or six feet too short.  It was a noble effort.

Dylan likes a Kate Nash song:  'I'm never ever ever going to unglue my lips from being together'.  He asked, 'How can she talk, if her lips are glued together?'  Similarly he asked on our car journey today, 'How can we be out of petrol, if the car is still moving?'

Dylan has become very good at climbing on climbing frames and climbing walls.  He is the best in the playground, in fact.

Isaac says 'banana' (actually 'Nana', while holding a toy banana) and then 'Papa'.  He also says 'teddy' when holding a stuffed bear.

DYLAN:  When I grow up, I want to be a parking officer, because I would be good at it.

Union Jack for Queen's Diamond Jubilee, by Dylan.

Isaac's favourite word is 'Daddy', which he repeats all day.  He often brings books for Daddy to read and plops himself (in particular his bum) violently, heavily onto Daddy's lap, uninvited.  Lately he pulls Daddy by the finger toward some destination, in order to show or to communicate something.  Yesterday he pulled Daddy toward a chair and said 'sit'.  When Daddy asks, 'Who wants [insert good thing here]?', Isaac answers, 'Me'.  (This is similar to 'Look both ways... Go!', in that it is a response to a cue or prompt.)  Daddy's question is really intended for Dylan, but Isaac answers.

Isaac has developed a bad habit of biting his Mummy or Daddy (lately it is Daddy) when he wants attention or feels he is being ignored.  Last week Daddy made the mistake of checking his mobile phone while standing near the doorway, and Isaac bit Daddy on the bum cheek, rather hard.  Daddy did not even hear Isaac approaching from behind.

While finger-painting today, Daddy asked Dylan if an apron would be necessary.  'You mean an aprint', Dylan corrected Daddy.  Daddy at first insisted the word was indeed 'apron', but Dylan disagreed.  For the rest of the day, Daddy chose to call it an 'aprint' too, like Dylan, to save argument.

Isaac says 'bubble'.

Dylan is constantly asking questions the answer to which is 'Objects at rest remain at rest; objects in motion etc.', but we haven't been able to communicate the answer, yet.

Isaac spotted a blackbird, which he followed around the playground for several minutes.  At first he followed at five feet, causing the bird occasionally to hop or fly a small distance away.  Isaac then widened the gap to ten feet, at which distance the bird was unaffected.  The boy stalked the bird, not to harm it, but only to observe it.  He watched as the bird pecked at the grass and hopped in and out of the playground fence.  When at last the bird flew fifty yards beyond the playground, Isaac opened the gate and wandered around looking for it, until he gave up.  He later observed two squirrels and a wood pigeon (not the common street sort) for several minutes each.  The wood pigeon allowed Isaac to come within three feet.  Isaac never attempted to disturb the animals.  He just watched them.  He seems very interested in their behaviour.

DYLAN TO DADDY:  How old are you?  Are you older than twelve?  Wow.

DYLAN:  Where on the airplane does the pilot pee?  Maybe his pilot's chair is a toilet.

Daddy usually says to Dylan at intersections, 'Look both ways... Go!'

Today when Daddy said 'Look both ways...', Isaac shouted 'Go!'

'What are trees made of?' asked Dylan. 

'Cellulose', said Daddy. 

'How are trees built?' asked Dylan.

Dylan assumes that everything in the universe is a human artifice.  Everything, in his view, is built.

'Trees planted themselves and grew before humans existed', said Daddy. 

'How was the first human born?' asked Dylan.

Isaac says 'poo' in connection with his poo.

He also says 'come in' when you knock on his door.

Isaac says 'hand' (imperatively, when he wants his hand held), 'car', 'cat', and 'hat'.  He mimics birds very convincingly.

Isaac jumped (getting both feet off the ground) at a playground in Disneyworld.

DYLAN (to Alice in Wonderland): I have a book about you.

ALICE: Is it your favourite book?

DYLAN: No. I have lots of books.

Isaac played with the toilet paper while Daddy looked for the changing table. 'There's no changing table in here', said Daddy to himself. Isaac lay down on his back in the middle of the toilet floor. He is struggling to make clear that he understands.

DADDY: Are you too warm or too cold?

DYLAN: Which does the ceiling fan do?

DADDY: It makes the room cooler.

DYLAN: I'm too warm.

DYLAN: I want to wash my hair.

DADDY: Do you need any help?

DYLAN: Yeah, can you please pass the champagne?

Trip to Whipsnade

Isaac telephoned Daddy from Grandma and Grandpa's house phone, all by himself, and without anyone else's knowledge. He spoke excitedly with Daddy for several minutes. Daddy was unable to persuade Isaac to retrieve Grandma or Grandpa, and eventually he hung up.

Isaac has grown crazy for books. He carries them to Daddy, then scoots onto Daddy's lap, then insists that he be read to. Occasionally he scoots onto Dylan's lap with a book, and Dylan recently 'read' That's Not My Tractor to Isaac.

Today we went to Willows Farm with Kat, Sam, and Oliver.

Isaac tried to open the garden door. 'It would be possible to go into the garden if you had your shoes on', said Daddy. 'It will not be possible if you do not have your shoes', added Dylan. Isaac retrieved his shoes by himself, returned to the garden door, and tried putting his shoes on. Daddy, impressed at Isaac's understanding and initiative, helped with the shoes and released Isaac into the garden.

Dylan invented (pretended to be) a 'walking towel dispenser' (actually a walking 'roller towel', the kind that loops around when you tug on it, which used to be common in gas stations in America in the 1970s and is still common in England today - Dylan loves roller towels) by placing a large towel over his head and approaching people who might need to dry their hands. 'The walking roller towel walks toward you', he explained. People are encouraged to tug fresh towel from Dylan's back, over his head, and down his front.

'I'm not pretending, I'm not joking, you're not imagining, and you're not misunderstanding me', says Dylan, when he's quite serious about something.

Daddy: Yes, we can do as you suggest, but then Mummy won't give you a star sticker.

Dylan: We won't tell Mummy.

Daddy: I have to tell Mummy because she's my wife.

Dylan: No she isn't. Mummies aren't wives.

Isaac dances any time he hears music, by bending and straightening his knees in time with the music.

'Who's going to press the button?' Daddy asked Isaac, as Isaac rode on his trike. Understanding, Isaac held up his index finger for most of the half-block journey to the crossing, where he pressed the button eagerly from his trike.

Isaac had his first haircut today.  He did not cry.

DYLAN: Don't cut Isaac's hair too short, because then there would be holes in his head where the hairs grew out of, and when he ate food, all the food would get squeezed out of the holes, and he would starve.

Isaac has taken his sock thieving to a new level. This morning Daddy found a sock lodged between Isaac's bum cheeks, beneath an otherwise clean nappy. 'Maybe he pooed the sock out', suggested Dylan.

There are four pieces in Dylan's board game. Dylan arranged the pieces into two groups containing two pieces each, saying, 'Two and two are four'. Daddy then arranged the pieces into one and three, saying, 'One and three are also four'. Daddy struggled to imagine further combinations and was prepared to say, 'One and one and one and one are four'. But Dylan said first, 'Four and none are four', which Daddy thought was very clever: additive identity, or whatever it's called.

Dylan disagrees with the Cat in the Hat's statement that you have to know how to have fun. 'You can have fun however you want to', he said.

Isaac is a sock-crazy alien. He visits North Finchley from outer space, in order to steal socks from our drawers. He deposits Daddy's socks, Mummy's socks, and Dylan's socks in secret piles throughout the house; recently we found a stash behind the wine glasses. Isaac normally likes to walk while clutching at least one sock in each hand, but he never wears socks upon his feet. Whenever we try to put socks on Isaac's feet, he pulls them off and adds them to the hidden piles. This would be a problem in the snowy weather, except for Isaac's hardy alien physiology.

Dylan's geometrical insight of the day: 'Clothes has to be bigger than you are.'

Dylan as Captain Britannia en route to Luke's superheroes party.

New Year's Eve 2011.

Rickshaw

Near Ballards Lane, Dylan asked Daddy for permission to build a rickshaw. It was entirely Dylan's idea. He would attach the rear of his bicycle to the front of Isaac's carriage. Daddy thought this idea would never work, but he gave permission to try. Dylan actually managed to fit the bike onto the pram. At this point, Daddy thought the bike could not possibly pull the pram, but it did. Next Daddy thought he would have to help Dylan. But Dylan gave Isaac a ride home, all by himself, at a reasonable speed.